Overheard on the Streets of Eden Before the Great Flood

The Lord saw that the wickedness of humankind was great in the earth, and that every inclination of the thoughts of their hearts was only evil continually. And the Lord was sorry that he had made humankind on the earth, and it grieved him to his heart. So, the Lord said, “I will blot out of the earth the human beings I have created—people together with animals and creeping things and birds of the air, for I am sorry that I have made them.”
— Genesis 6:5-7

“All other societies have banned the bow that fires dozens of arrows at once. Not us, for we are truly free.”

“We have worshipped a golden god. The seas boil. A plague has visited our homes. But her scroll inscriptions.”

“The child prefers to stare at the reflection of the sky in the water, not the sky itself. I’d be concerned if I couldn’t just plop her down right in front of it and get some chores done.”

“Thou shall need proof of attendance to the university for me to begin engraving membership into the Facestone. One final question: What is thy relationship status?”

“You should have seen how many shekels I spent this week on hen wings, deceased dinosaur fuel and a root vegetable tray! I have decided I shall blame this all on the white-haired leader who genuinely seems to care about our well-being but fell off his wheel that one time.”

“You see, we shall be better off with one merchant who will sell all the goods under the sun and deliver them via carrier pigeon in under two hours.”

“That Noah fellow seems pretty cocky to me.”

“A great war brews overseas. Many have died. On one side is good; on the other is evil. But what about those deceased dinosaur fuel prices?”

“The bows that fire many arrows are everywhere already. To truly protect the university students, we must roll a large stone in front of the door!”

“The child within her will not live. If not extracted, the mother shall die. But we have a high court that has ruled against such a procedure, so tough luck. It’s what God wants.”